And here we enter another year

...perhaps peering ahead hopefully at a vision of something 'better' then last year; a vision of greater comfort and happiness, and of lesser trial. Or perhaps through a dispairing, distorted lense; jaded and cynical.

If I had a glass of drinkable liquid... I'd raise it in toast to all of you. I'd raise it and hold it firmly above my head. I'd toast. I'd then drink to the realization of that toast.

May the coming year be cause to remind you of your utter dependance upon Almighty God, through blessing or devestating hardship. May the memory of years past fill your heart with a fire of unquenchable zeal for living every moment as though it were once in a lifetime... for God's glory. May joy and peace sustain your heart through the weary times, and may happiness serve as a pleasant afterthought. May the bonds of friendship hold you securely, though in failing, may you find greater fulfillment in Jesus Christ. May you never be allowed to stand on your own, forgetting the brokenness encompassing all of us, and the Light of things hoped for.

May God lead you and hold you in His unending grace forever, and may humbleness never leave you. May each one of you catch a greater glimpse of God himself, and His profound love.

Another step closer.

Golden

She's alone tonight with a bitter cup
She's undone tonight, she's all used up
She's been staring down the demons who've been screaming

peering through saline windows

...very tired, and I miss Allison very much. No better way to put it I guess...
Something inside hurts. It keeps trying to pull up tears... but always at the wrong times, when I can't afford to cry. Always triggered by stupid things...

I wish I could write more... I just feel like blogging days are over, like I'm trying to revive something dry and forgotten. Something cracked, and lifeless... something who's lifeblood has slowly fled into a distant and higher focus. What is there to draw my heart here anymore?
Distant memories; mythical and blurred through tear stains.

I gotta go do dishes.

call yourself contrition

the blues

Is this the New Year or just another night?
Is this the new fear or just another fright?
Is this the new tear or just another desperation?

Is this the finger or just another fist?
Is this the kingdom or just a hit n' miss?
A misdirection, most in all this desperation

Is this what they call freedom?
Is this what you call pain?
Is this what they call discontented fame?

It'll be a day like this one
When the world caves in
When the world caves in
When the world caves in

I'm singing this one like a broken piece of glass
From broken arms an' broken noses in the back
Is this the New Year or just another desperation?

You're pushing till you're shoving
You bend until you break
Till you stand on the broken fields where our fathers lay

It'll be a day like this one
When the world caves in
When the world caves in
When the world caves in
When the world caves in
When the world caves in
When the world caves in

There's nothing here worth saving,
Is no one here at all?
Is there any net left that could break our fall?

It'll be a day like this one
When the sky falls down and the hungry and poor and deserted are found
Are you discontented? Have you been pushing hard?
Have you been through and down this broken house of cards?

It'll be a day like this one
When the world caves in
When the world caves in
When the world caves in

Is there nothing left now?
Nothing left to sing
Are there any left to haven't kiss the enemy?
Is this the New Year or just another desperation?

Just as I could find you, do the wicked never lose?
Is there any honest song to sing besides these blues?

And nothing is okay
Till the world caves in
Till the world caves in
Till the world caves in
Till the world caves in
Till the world caves in
Until the world caves in
Until the world caves in
Until the world caves in
Until the world caves in
Until the world caves in
Until the world caves in


...switchfoots new album. they hit it well.

blown by a tailwind of this passing common era

...Davie is gone to vancouver to take up studies of... who knows what - theology, relational studies... stuff like that. I think. Gonna miss that dood very much... his warm hugs, and readily available ear (now somewhat tattered and worn from many violent storms which hath been cast upon it) ... and largely, I'm going to miss the crazy schedules we used to keep just to meet somewhere and hang out for nearly 20 minutes... before peeling away in our stupid little red cars to go save the rest of the world from dying of boredom.
But don't tell him I said that.

Will has moved closer to town now, and is going to school to become one of those... people who've gone to school and stuff. Hopefully I'll get to see him more often now, though likely not. Not with him being so interested in that girl of his... *grinning* Crazy doesn't begin to describe it... 'sap pouring out of a tree, unchecked and abundant' does a little better though. ;o) Not that I blame him... she's a very wonderful girl, and He's definately got a right to be excited. I'm excited for him...

Anna is at home alone now... but she's got a very indomitable personality, and I'm incredibly proud of the way she's handling the circumstance of being the youngest of the family... some people might have cried out with a mournful voice of discontentment, angrily pouring forth their unwillingness at having been born last.
I am proud of you Anna... you've amazing things to look forward too. You also have some amazing oppertunities that most other people don't.

And there's me... and i'm still doing what I do.

And I'm pretty sure I don't know what else I'm should put here...
but I've got alot of people on my mind lately, aside from the previously mentioned of course... and.... they're starting to get uncomfortable. I think I'm gonna take some pain medication.

I've been starting to feel down again... (it's fall... go figure), but God is my source of strength when I turn to Him. 'this is my desire, to go deeper, into You'.

...in other News:
I finally got a potato cannon made and functioning... pretty cool if you ask me. ;o)
My parents are trying to move... pretty crazy if you ask me.
I've been able to hang out with Jesiah a whole lot more lately... which has been awesome.

YEAH WHATEVER

...CRAZY week. Started out last weekend with a four day holiday... filled by a road trip (coolest thing ever) to Salmon Arm. Awesome trip. Amazing friend to go with... (more to come on that)
Then the three days from hell, in which everything tries to fall apart and take me with it, and God tries very patiently to show me that my plans are not always the same as His.

The sun has been beating down pretty intensely lately... but gold fears no fire. Perhaps there is some gold around here somewhere... we'll see.


...a quick note... I have never been so amazed at God's work in my life, and His immediate plans for me! I have a hard time believing my eyes. God is incredible.

by the death of heroes

Another bloody update... I've been trying to avoid posting here again until I have time enough to write a post of substance and import... however, such a post is still a barely visible spec on the distant horizon hued with the red of another sunset. I'm left with a halfhearted and very distracted longing for the days when time was my abundance, and this blog - this place of calm security - was my refuge from interaction and falsity.

These days...
-work has inevitably taken it's place of firmhanded rulership over my somewhat reluctant and morose days.
-I've moved out of my parents home (incase any of you who know me have failed to happen upon this information)
-Today I'm sick. Tomorrow.... Hopefully not.
-I have an awesome group of people in my life.... Again I'm left wondering why on earth God would think it reasonable to give someone like myself such amazing friendships.
-The sun is shining beautifully here in the nicest place on earth, and hopefully sometime soon I'll have the oppertunity to swim in a local waterhole.
-I'm itching to play paintball again.
-I miss the beauty and peace of where my parents live.
-I am finding myself engrossed in the realization of how amazing my siblings are.... and how proud I am of them.
-I am finished paying off my car... and still enjoying the blessing of mobility.
-I am learning still to know God... and thirsting more and more for intimacy with Him.
-Quietness and trust is a virtue greatly overlooked.
-I'm out of time and patience.... I'm going to get something done.

May God bless and keep each of you.
Until the reality of a yet far-off moment....

Monty.